I stumbled upon The Wives by Simone Gorrindo while perusing my public library and found it impossible to walk away from. The synopsis captured me as it offered an inside look into what life as an Army wife was really like and how the wives became an integral part of one woman’s support system while one woman grappled with the emotional, physical, and mental consequences of loving and supporting a U.S. Special Ops soldier. This story promised to be bother emotional and enlightening and it definitely delivered on both fronts.
Synopsis
In The Wives by Simone Gorrindo we follow Simone and Andrew as he decides to enlist in the Army, changing the trajectory of their relationship. During his deployment, Simone begins to make friends with the wives and can gain support, camaraderie, and relatability with these women as they share their experiences and lives with each other.
Additionally, we see the tension and conflict that blooms between Simone and Andrew as she grapples to accept him as an Army soldier and the struggle and loneliness that comes with being an Army wife and having him fight in a foreign country, worrying over his safety while being forced to live a normal life.
Review
Although I found the synopsis for this memoir intriguing I’ll confess I had preconceived notions as to what I would experience upon diving into these pages. Imagine my surprise as I see how Simone balances her truthful and honest thoughts and experiences regarding her opinions concerning the Army, her husband’s decision to enlist, and how she grappled with her convictions while loving a person who had personal convictions that didn’t necessarily align with hers. It made for a very informative, and enlightening reading experience that I will remember.
Content: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
While I’m not an Army or Military wife, I felt that Simone did a terrific job of allowing the reader to experience what it feels like to be an Army spouse. She doesn’t hold her punches and explores her thoughts and feelings about her husband’s choice to join the Army and her struggles to accept his decision.
Additionally, she shows how the Army not only altered and changed their relationship and communication with each other but also how Andrew’s personality and idiosyncracies began to change as he became more like the men he served with.
“Before we got here, I had thought about how war might change Andrew, but I had never even paused to consider how the culture of a storied institution might mold him, alter the way he spoke and walked and saw the world.”
After reading this memoir, I felt my perspective and opinion regarding the Army and military wives changed. It’s easy for outsiders to state these spouses know what they’re signing up for when marrying an Army soldier. But, can one fully comprehend the realities of a life unlived? Do we know and understand the complications that will arise before we make a decision? This book gives the impression that while having a general understanding that married life with a soldier will be hard, you can’t possibly comprehend just how hard and lonely it will be until you’re in it.
Writing Style: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
The structure of this memoir balanced sharing Gorrindo’s experience with Andrew in the Army as well as showing the events that led them to this point. I also appreciated she shared her views and feelings regarding guns, violence, and war. This was so fascinating to me that she was able to wholly accept her husband and his desire to serve in the military while holding conflicting beliefs and feelings surrounding his decision.
I also enjoyed how she focused on highlighting specific facts and details and was able to focus on the events that aligned with the overall theme of the memoir, which was focused primarily on the community she built with the wives, as well as how her marriage was impacted due to Andrew’s Army career. Furthermore, her writing was emotional, evocative, and impactful, fully inviting the reader into the reality of her life.
Readability: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Despite my personal bias and opinions regarding the military and the way the war in Afghanistan was handled, I found that this didn’t prevent me from reading and enjoying The Wives for what it set out to do. Which was to pay homage to the Army wives and how they were an integral part of their families and each other. When Gorrindo was alone while Andrew was deployed, it was the wives who helped her function through the more challenging phases and stages of her life.
I was also so emotionally invested in Simone’s life. And while I don’t think I would have the mettle to stick it out the way she did, it’s so enlightening to know and understand more about the women who love and care for these men. What their lives are like and how they’re impacted. It also doesn’t hurt that Gorrindo used a conversational tone that made you feel like you were talking to a close friend as they recounted past events. Thus, making this intimate and palpable for the reader.
Plot: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Gorrindo had a goal which was to provide an insider look into the realities of being married to an Army soldier and what life really looked like for an Army wife. She expertly moved you throughout the memoir event to event. Whether it was personal revelations or experiences, her loneliness, depression, and anxiety during Andrew’s deployments, or her clinging to the wives for community, connection, and support because no one else understood her struggles.
She sticks to a linear narrative and only includes flashbacks to elaborate on specific points, and emotions, or to build character. Thus creating a well-developed story that makes sense for the reader and moves along across Andrew’s enlistment with the Army at Fort Benning.
For the most part, I felt the memoir was paced well and moved along beautifully. But some moments dragged or I felt were repetitive regarding her and Andrew’s relationship challenges. She kept illustrating the tension and lack of communication they experienced and listen, I totally understand the need for repetition to showcase how and why this was such a problem for them. It just became redundant to me after so long, when she spent too much time elaborating on this since the reader already understands this is a major issue for them.
Characters: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Gorrindo did an amazing job of allowing the reader to see the complex nature of each of the people involved in this memoir. From Simone to Andrew to Rachel and all the wives. You can feel what makes each of these people tick, allowing them to come across as well-rounded and palpable. Simone’s growth and ability to finally build her identity not on Andrew but find stability within herself was a beautiful thing to witness.
Additionally, I enjoyed everyone’s growth as the story progressed. We see their lives and personalities evolve and change as time passes. I especially appreciated seeing how Andrew and Simone’s marriage finally reached a place of common ground and respect. Where they learned to communicate and extend grace to one another. Though it took them time and a lot of effort, I think they were finally able to figure out how to have a healthy marriage while Andrew pursued his dream of an Army career.
