You Made A Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi was such a deeply reflective contemporary romance that deftly explores grief and the rollercoaster journey of healing after loss. My interest in this novel was piqued when I saw various bookish content creators highlighting the messy May-December romance and how the protagonist fell for her boyfriend’s father. Listen, I’m not impervious to a good tawdry story but this novel took me by surprise. It revealed a depth and emotion I wasn’t prepared for and challenged how I viewed love, connection, and grief.
What’s It About?
The story opens with Feyi, an artist, who reluctantly enters back into the dating scene, after years of grieving the loss of her husband, with an intimate encounter with a gentleman, Milan, she meets at a party she attends with her best friend,. As their situation develops into a friends with benefits situation a chance encounter leads her to Nasir who shows immediate interest in her and sets about pursuing her against her objections and reservations.
After sharing her tragic backstory he pumps the breaks and they start a friendship with hopes of it developing into a romantic relationship. Feyi agrees to this and their bond grows to the point that Nasir suggests her to an art curator as being the ideal artist to have in their gallery and at their show. Shocked, thrilled and a little nervous about the implications such a favor could have on their situation she relunctantly agrees taking the chance to progress her career.
They’re set to travel to Nasir’s hometown where Feyi will meet his family and stay with his father at his secluded mountain getaway in. However, things go awry when upon arrival Feyi feels an instant attraction to Nasir’s father Alim. Tensions mount when she discovers he shares the same attraction. How can Feyi untangle herself from this situation without hurting Nasir but remaining true to her heart?
Book Details
Release Date: May 24, 2022
Page Count: 288
Publisher: Atria Books
Genre(s): Contemporary Romance, Fiction, Queer, LGBTQIA+
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The Key Players
Feyi Adekola: A Brooklyn based artist of Nigerian descent. She has been unpacking her grief following the traumatic loss of her husband in a car accident. Her journey is challenging her heart and the relationships she’s developed.
Alim Blake: A well-renowned celebrity chef and the father of Nasir, Feyi’s friend she’s been dating. His own personal history with grief and the unique way he connects with and understands Feyi leads to an intimate connection developing between them.
Nasir Blake: Alim’s son and Feyi’s romantic interest. His sweet attention and devotion to developing a relationship with Feyi doesn’t unfold as he’d planned revealing truths about his personality and his true intentions as well.
Tropes and Representation
Forbidden Love/Taboo Romance: It doesn’t get anymore off limits than falling for the father of the guy you’re dating. This could’ve been tacky but the emotional depth interlaced in this story made it less about sex and more about an intellectual, soul connection.
Grief-centered Romance: Grief is the primary driver of this story showcasing the messy process of healing and how grief essentially permeates all areas of Feyi’s life and psyche.
Second chance at love: This novel deftly explores the messy side of what a second chance at love could look like while simultaneously exploring the unpredictability of love, desire, attraction and connection.
Love Triangle: The dynamic between Feyi, Nasir and Alim isn’t necessarily a triangle more of discovering the difference between choosing what’s safe and taking a risk on a wild card.
Black Joy and Grief: Not only do you witness Feyi’s journey navigating grief but you also see her joy, accomplishments and all the complexity that comes with being a dynamic human.
Queer Representation: Feyi and Alim are both bisexual. Feyi’s best friend Joy is lesbian. While there are mentions of their sexuality the novel manages to discuss the challenges associated with this without it coming across as gimmicky or forced. It felt very natural and relevant to the story.
Nigerian American Representation: Feyi is of Nigerian descent with her best friend Joy being of Ghanian descent. They share their culture and how it shapes them and is an essential part of their identity.
Body and Sexual Autonomy: Throughout the story Feyi was able to own and express her sexuality in whatever way she felt appropriate to her. In the beginning she uses sexual intimacy as a way to keep lovers far away and towards the end a way to build connection.
Mental Health and Emotional Recovery: Feyi’s journey with grief isn’t linear and is messy and imperfect. Revealing the truth about grief’s psychological impact on a person and how it changes them.
Let’s Talk About It
I feel this novel is often pitched wrong as it gives you the belief that you’re going to read a tawdry, spicy love triangle where a woman is having to choose between father and son. That’s not the case with this novel at all. More than anything it’s a heartfelt exploration of the turbulent journey of grief and how a second chance at love can pop up in the most unexpected of places.
Content
Dominant themes in this novel dealt with grief, love after loss, healing, and rebirth.
Grief and the haunting of loss
For most of the novel you see Feyi doing what she thinks she should be doing at this point in her healing journey. However, she feels so disconnected from herself and her life. She’s still trying to make sense of building and creating a life without the person she’s planned a future with.
Love after loss
Emezi does a tremendous job of exploring the question of whether love after loss is possible. In this novel, we see that it is but it’s not perfect it’s full of ambiguity. Additionally, it shows how one never truly moves on from the loss of a loved one. Instead, grief evolves as it ebbs and flows. And, that moving on with someone doesn’t mean you forget or let go of the one you’ve lost but your heart can expand and make room for a new beginning and a new chance at love.
The messiness of healing
Feyi’s healing journey is chaotic which realistically encapsulates what it feels like to go through grief. It messes with your mind and emotions causing you to act in ways that were once inconceivable but make sense to the grief-addled brain. A key tool in Feyi’s healing journey is her art and how she was able to pour her raw, dark emotions and anger into her creations.
Rebirth and Self-reclamation
In a way a huge part of Feyi was lost following her husband’s death. Yet, through art, support from her best friend, and allowing the ebb and flow of grief to direct her she’s able to be born again. This is such a beautiful sentiment as grief will forever change you. The person you are before loss you’ll never be again. Witnessing Feyi on this journey and following her character arc was impactful and poignant.
Writing Style
Emezi’s ability to create such beautiful yet relatable prose that felt real and not stilted is highly appreciated. Additionally, the way she blending rich emotion and depth into this novel made it compelling and propulsive.
This novel is a delightful mashup of lyrical, sensual and emotional elements. Making it easy for you to slip into Feyi’s character and not only understand her but feel and relate to her.
Another terrific layer to Emezi’s writing style is how this felt cinematic with scenes coming alive from the pages. Vivid descriptions, rich imagery and metaphors really paint the perfect backdrop for this novel.
Plot Development
Emezi uses a mixture of plot-driven and character-driven elements to showcase how erratic grief and healing are. She utilizes small details to mirror progressions and changes in Feyi’s journey. For example, her casual relationship with Milan reflected how she was still in grief’s chokehold and utilized intimacy to keep others away while also satisfying her desires.
Yet, as she made progress on her journey sex became a deeply personal and emotional exchange that needed to be handled delicately. This echoed how she was struggling to hand her heart over again as she tried to process her feelings and determine if she was ready for a second chance at love.
Characterization
Lastly, these characters had dimensions and layers including the side characters. They all played a role and a part in not only Feyi’s healing journey but exploring the themes, elements and questions posed in the novel.
Feyi’s a multi-layered character who’s wrapped in ambiguity. She seldom does what’s “right” or “safe” instead choosing the messy, chaotic path. While this story is centered on grief the objective isn’t to necessarily get over it but learn how to live in harmony with it. To transform and become reborn.
Joy is more than a side character she’s Feyi’s best friend and ride or die who’s been on this rocky journey with her. She doesn’t sugarcoat the truth and tells it to her straight calling her out on her antics. Yet, she doesn’t judge Feyi but shows her unconditional love and acceptance.
Nasir is the embodiment of what the safe path would look like should Feyi choose to take it. He’s supportive, emotionally available, and wants to provide her with stability and lasting love. He’s seeking to help her get over her loss and move forward into a brighter future with him.
Alim is the temptation and the risk. While he’s grounded, secure, and charismatic he’s also clearly off-limits being Nasir’s father. While there’s obvious complications that would arise from their relationship there’s an undeniable connection between them that transcends the physical, sexual attraction but is spiritual and intimate.
Is It For You?
While this is a contemporary romance it doesn’t follow the standard formula of your typical romance. It’s messy, complicated, ambiguous, raw and full of emotion. I wouldn’t recommend this novel for those that are looking for a neat love story. I also wouldn’t recommend it for someone that’s looking for a hot, spicy, forbidden romance either. This novel is emotional and visceral and would be best appreciated by those that are fans of complex love stories with dynamic characterization and rich themes and metaphors regarding grief and love after loss.
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Final Thoughts
I adored and appreciated this novel for it challenging my perception of love after loss. While falling for your romantic interests father isn’t ideal understanding all that Feyi and Alim have gone through and witnessing their spiritual connection I can’t help but broaden my perspective regarding the unusual path that love can take. There’s something to be said about going for the person that sees you the raw, real, broken parts and loves you anyway.
